I Was In Hell

December 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

The Introduction

So, there is an emerging burlesque scene here in Poland after one of the stage artists, Betty Q, appeared in a polish edition of Got Talent. I started following burlesque pages on Facebook and subscribed to their blogs, trying to catch the spirit of all this telling-stories-through-stripping mess.

And then, suddenly, a friend asked me if I and my girlfriend would like to go see one of the shows. Sometimes reality reacts to your hidden intentions spontaneously, and this was only another proof to that theory that I adopted some time ago.

So we went to this club, it’s name translates to The Comedy Club, in the post-ghetto district of Warsaw. Previously it was a place of jazzmen, scene provided for alternative culture events, comic book premieres. After some turbulences with local communities owners had to close down and, after some time, another place started it’s own history. Curious if the locals are satisfied with place like this more than before.

In Poland there are students’ discounts on public transport, museums, we have free education covering all higher levels, you could call it a welfare state. But I did not expect students’ discounts on tickets for burlesque.

Ticket for burlesque show.

The Flesh

We sat on wobbly chairs in a more-than-cosy room. The role of a compere was taken by a guy dressed up as a Santa with silver teeth and punk hairstyle. He was partially a magician, prestidigitator I would say, and a comedian. He introduced the girls, told some jokes, swallowed a baloon and puked it as a one turned into a pony/dog.

A friend of mine, whose identity I will keep secret, has this saying: a piano competition is not for armless. The same as burlesque is not for shapeless girls. Although I understand the emancipational aspect – they perform and act as sexy women in front of other people discovering their own sex-appeal – it’s not exactly what I would like to watch, when I pay for it.

It’s not that they were fat, because they weren’t, especially when you take under consideration the fact that burlesque is not exactly for size 90-60-90. But they have to have some proportions!

And the show, the choreography – simple, based on hit songs played back, and the story – which is, as Betty Q said commenting her appearance in Got Talent, the most important part, not just tits – were… lousy.

And the thing that I hate the most, the trauma from my childhood. The moment when the performer looks for someone on the audience and asks him or her to join him for a trick. And the trick turns out to be abusive or sexist. And the person doesn’t want to disappoint the others. And does what he/she is told.

Maybe you should, girls, adapt to the modest enviroments you are to perform in before you reach places dripping with gold and diamonds  and stop throwing candies in golden wrapers at the audience.

What You Should Not Put Under The Christmas Tree

December 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

Casual Vacancy in the bookstore in Warsaw

Casual Vacancy in a bookstore in Warsaw

So, there are christmas sales here in Poland. And special christmas premieres – products aimed to be launched during a perfect period, when hype rises along with demand for items that are not bought very often. Like books.

And in one of the biggest bookstores in Warsaw, Poland, there is a special stand with the latest novel by J.K. Rowling – The Casual Vacancy. The sign suggests it’s “the best present”.

If you were going to read this book, I assure you it’s worth it. But don’t buy it to anyone for Christmas. Why, you’d ask.

Well, some people see nothing wrong in buying someone a book on eugenics as a present. Even I bought one for my girlfiend! But many people wouldn’t find it suitable to put under the christmas tree a book about:

  • rape,
  • drugs,
  • rape again,
  • domestic violence (tough one),
  • disilussion,
  • and so on.

This book really is for adults only. And it doesn’t go well with christmas atmosphere.

What I Should Blog About And Why It Is What It Is

December 2, 2012 § Leave a comment

I asked Google Search:What Should I Blog About

And It replied:

Google Replies

So:

 

Is:

  • Unimaginably awesome;
  • By some people considered a distant plagiarism of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven, but who cares;
  • Able to make my intestines tremble.

Where Am I?

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